Hidden Chapters in a Brown Leather Book

Ask me a question and I will answer honestly, no matter what. But let me get the ball rolling. Yes, there are sometimes I wish there was an off switch, No i have never seen a doctor about any of my medical issues beyond swellings in my feet that caused me to limp for a year. Why? Because I am scared. Scared of being told how long I could live. How long they think I will live. I am afraid of someone telling me the worst, and my mind not being able to stand and fight against the flooding darkness.

Sometimes I think that I have some mental problem as well as the physical, being underweight while eating properly. Scrawny and weak even if I try to go to the gym. Ribs that have bent inwards and press against my lungs. all the while my head screams at me day and night, working out if every soul on this damn planet is living, or at least surviving.

And here is the brutal honesty. I am a corruption, feeding of my own greed and desire I have plagued so many people, yet others see me as if I am someone who is carrying burdens for others. I carry burdens for myself, to slow down how long before I lose everything I hold close to the rotting aura that I hate.

I always have tried to live in a dream world. But now that my memories seem to be disappearing, I see that I am… Well, that’s the killer question.

What am I?